ADD/ADHD

[Foxy]

I struggled all my life with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) but when I was a child I was also hyperactive (ADHD). Fortunately I outgrew the hyperactive stage.

Back in the 50's & 60's this disorder was unknown. We were thought of as fidgety and unfocused kids. I also had problems with smells, tastes and textures and sometimes be overstimated by too much activity and sound which could trigger a meltdown or just the opposite where I would withdraw. I think that last part put me a little on the autistic spectrum.

I was a mostly an "A" student, but most of the teacher's remarks on my report cards said I was a bright child but could do better if I paid attention. Story of my life.

It wasn't until I started dating a man with diagnosed ADHD in my late 40's that I discovered that I had it too. He had me read a book called Driven To Distraction so I would understand him. All prior relationships had been short-lived for him because his girlfriends just "didn't get him." As I read the book my entire life unfolded in front of me. Now, some people reading the symptom list of ADHD traits would say thats not a "real" disorder, I have some of those traits from time to time. They think those with the disorder are just making excuses to be procrastinators or lazy. But to be truly ADHD it has to be a lifelong thing beginning in early childhood and its not just a trait or two from the list. 

I learned about lack of impulse control, hyper-focusing, distraction, lack of organization skills, day dreaming and living in my own world, procrastination, addictive behaviors, can't manage time and other negative traits. But it was not all negative as ADHD people can be unusually creative, bright, deep thinkers and empathetic too. 

It sure helped boost my self-esteem knowing there was a reason why I struggled with things that seemed to come so easily to others. I always felt like I had to fake being "normal" hiding a secret I didn't want people to know that I was struggling to keep up all the time. It's just the way my brain is wired and I'm not just a lazy, unfocused scatterbrain who rarely shows up on time and makes deadlines "by the skin of my teeth."

I'm pushing 70 now and the struggle continues, in some ways better, and some things are worse. At least I have a longterm relationship with someone who gets me and vice-versa.

Does anyone else here relate?

 

[Catsmother]

I struggled all my life with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) but when I was a child I was also hyperactive (ADHD). Fortunately I outgrew the hyperactive stage.

Back in the 50's & 60's this disorder was unknown. We were thought of as fidgety and unfocused kids. II also had problems with smells, tastes and textures and sometimes be overstimated by too much activity and sound which could trigger a meltdown or just the opposite where I would wwithdraw. I think that last part put me a little on the autistic spectrum.

I was a mostly an "A" student, but most of the teacher's remarks on my report cards said I was a bright child but could do better if I paid attention. Story of my life.

It wasn't until I started dating a man with diagnosed ADHD in my late 40's that I discovered that I had it too. He had me read a book called Driven To Distraction so I would understand him. All prior relationships had been short-lived for him because his girlfriend's just didn't "get him." As I read the book my entire life unfolded in front of me. Now some people reading the symptom list of ADHD traits would say thats not a "real" disorder, I have some of those traits from time to time. They think those with the disorder are just making excused to be procrastinators or lazy. But to be truly ADHD it has to be a lifelong thing beginning in early childhood and its not just a trait or two from the list. 

I learned about lack of impulse control, hyper-focusing, distraction, lack of organization skills, day dreaming and living in my own world, procrastination, addictive behaviors, can't manage time and other negative traits. But it was not all negative as ADHD people can be unusually creative, bright, deep thinkers and empathetic too. 

It sure helped boost my self-esteem knowing there was a reason why I struggled with things that seemed to come so easily to others. I always felt like I had to fake being "normal" hiding a secret I didn't want people to know that I was struggling to keep up all the time. It's just the way my brain is wired and I'm not just a lazy, unfocused scatterbrain who rarely shows up on time and makes deadlines "by the skin of my teeth."

I'm pushing 70 now and the struggle continues, in some ways better, and some things are worse. At least I have a longterm relationship with someone who gets me and vice-versa.

Does anyone else here relate?

Hi @Foxy

I don't know a lot about ADD but I just want to say it must have been a huge relief to find someone that understands you.

I have BPD and find it hard to find or talk to people that understand it. When I was diagnosed my husband read a lot about it and he understands me now. 

 

[Foxy]

^ It really does make all the difference in the world to have someone who truly understands and is patient and loving enough to look beyond the "quirks".