I don't think you're suicidal @Steve. I believe depression is common after any kind of surgery.

There have been times where I thought that I would be better off dead but Im not suicidal. Especially after the crap year I've had. 

I pray that it will get better for you Steve. It will take time and patience. You'll get there. Keep the faith.

:hug

It's not surprising you feel depressed @Steve having any kind of surgery is going to take it's toll on anyone. 

Thank you Angela and Catsmother. The pain has been easing up so I'm taking a whole lot less narcotics than I was. :good

That's good to hear @Steve.  Ill continue to pray for your full and quick recovery.

I don't believe you are suicidal but you are going through what anyone would go through after major surgery like that. 

I had major surgery myself back in 2014 and back then I was also in a mentally abusive relationship. The weight of the relationship and recovering from the surgery made me severely depressed and I had thoughts of suicide which pushed me to get the help I needed. I am now out of that situation and in a better life but I do still suffer from depression that is managed. 

I would advise you to speak to someone though about how you feel, always remember, there is someone out there who will listen and help you and you are not alone.